Loneliness and isolation is slowly killing people and eroding the most fundamental thing that makes us human. We are wired to be connected to one another. And when we withdraw, isolate, fail to ask for help, refuse to offer aid, we get better at being alone.

Replace New Year's resolutions with aspirations, dreams and self-compassion.

Finding the One Finding one’s true love has been the dream of lovers throughout history...The bubble of romantic love will burst and you will find yourself locked in a power struggle. But (after this workshop) now you know yourself, and...you are prepared for what is coming. From Keeping the Love Find by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt The fairy tale sometimes ends happily ever after but more frequently it just ends, before we have a chance to move from the unconsciou

I imagine, we all know the difference between a genuine warm welcome and a half-hearted, reluctant gesture that is meant to pass for welcoming. We know this deeply in our nervous systems, well before our brains assign meaning to the feelings that arise from a lack of genuine engagement. Our amazing and brilliant survival system is generally excellent at gathering data and sorting it into safe or not-safe buckets. It knows the difference between warm and welcoming and fake hos

Is there a pattern here? “When was the last time you two had sex and was it satisfying?” Couples coming to me for the first time will be asked this question. I usually tell them that some therapists say that “if you fix the sex, the rest will follow,” and others say: “if you fix the (fill in the blank…communication, conflict resolution, intimacy, etc.) the sex will follow.” I say it doesn’t matter whether you start with sex or communication, the patterns that hinder connectio

GIVING AND RECEIVING It is very difficult for me to give freely without expectations and strings attached when my hands are clenched tightly to you or to a belief I have about you. Giving and receiving is on my mind this year. I am keenly aware of the seduction and ease with which giving becomes the way to connect to the people we love, those we admire, or the ones from who we seek acknowledgment and recognition. Giving as an act of caring, anticipating, offering, and hoping

Socializing is always a hot topic, today even more so. The way that our earliest caregivers communicate the outside world plays a significant role in our initial formation of how to listen, express empathy and navigate relationships. Group therapy offers a unique opportunity to practice unfamiliar behaviors and get feedback on how it feels to give and receive in relation to others. Our earliest experiences are filled with needs: hunger, warmth, safety, and rest. A lack of co

The roles we play in our family are familiar and indelible. You know what role you assumed; your birth order may well have played a part in the familial roles you adopted. Roles serve to stabilize or defend against flaws in the family. Returning home for the holidays, adult kids slip back into old roles, despite the familiarity of being the family clown is not required in life outside the family. Family and group roles include the caretaker/peacemaker, the scapegoat/black she

Fundamental to the human condition is the desire to help others when they are in trouble. People struggling with interpersonal relations, overwhelming life events, ongoing negative circumstances or self-concept tend to focus on their own difficulties and hesitate to reach out to help those in need. Group therapy offers the members opportunities to provide assistance and insight to one another. Effective facilitators pay attention to altruistic moves on the part of members, ce

Clients may enter group therapy with the preconceived idea that they are alone with their problems and that others do not share similar difficulties. While this is true to some extent, the disconfirmation of their uniqueness may be a powerful sense of relief. That is, clients learn that they are universally similar to one another. It is assumed as clients begin to share and learn about each other’s’ similarities, they will become more trusting and open with each other. As gro

The inevitable exchange of information in a group setting helps members get from one day to the next. Twelve Step groups focus on the "One Day At A Time" approach to facing personal hurdles. Group members share behaviors that make it possible to stay in the present. Psychoeducational groups offer members the opportunity to reflect on what they have learned and at the same time apply that learning within the group setting. The information shared is personal and tends to be ex

Recently, I came across a piece by Kovie Biakolo entitled Why Hope Matters on one of my favorite inspirational sites, Thought Catalog. Kovie says, "...that is where hope comes in – believing that though I don’t know the answers, that they do exist and that whatever happens, though I don’t know the reasons, happens for ultimately, the greater good." Hope is vital to the process of growing, healing, and developing a generative approach to life. Generativity is possible as one

The Imago Center's Hayley Hoffman will be leading three new Women's Groups beginning this fall. Women in The Second Chapter of Life Women who identify as any or all of the following may be interested in a psychodynamic group therapy experience: 20-something to 40-something, curious about how you got here and who you are in this moment of your life, willing to explore the emotions, behaviors and patterns that keep you stuck, prepared to peel back “layers of the onion” to bet

My perception of group therapy is in part informed by two books: Irvin Yalom's novel The Schopenhauer Cure and Norah Ephron's Heartburn. Formal training is an essential foundation, and so is experience, but sometimes there is nothing as instructive as well-informed fiction. Yalom the consummate group therapist, and Ephron is a compelling storyteller. Needless to say, they craft persuasive arguments in favor of group therapy — a place to go for feedback on what it is like to b