Keeping the Love You Find™: A Workshop for Individuals
Tell me how your partner behaves when they are hurting. How they communicate during conflicts. And how they respond when you share your feelings.
And I will tell you how they were loved as children.
That's not a party trick. It's the biology of relationships.
Your History Predicts Your Present
Your nervous system started keeping score before you had words for what was happening to you. Every relationship that mattered — the ones that fed you, the ones that scared you, the ones that taught you what love costs — got wired in as a blueprint. A felt pattern, stored in the body long before you had language for it. Something your hand reaches for automatically, the way it reaches for a familiar doorknob in the dark.
Stephen Porges calls this neuroception — the nervous system's constant, unconscious scan for cues of safety and danger, running below the level of conscious thought. It asks whether someone is familiar. Familiar and good live in two very different categories, and the space between them is where most of our repeating patterns live.
Harville Hendrix calls this an Imago Match — the way we're drawn, unconsciously, to partners who carry the traits of the caregivers who raised us. The good parts and the unfinished parts both. It's why the dynamic keeps showing up in a different costume. It's why "nothing like my ex" turns into the same fight by month three.
The Common Denominator
Here's the thing nobody wants to hear on a first date: the problem with all our relationships is that we are the common denominator.
Every ending has had a different name and a different face attached to it. The pattern connecting them belongs to you.
This is neuroscience, plain and simple. Your nervous system runs old software — written and installed long before you had any say in the matter. And that's the most hopeful part of the whole equation. If you're the common denominator, you're also the one variable here you can actually work with.
Who You Are Becoming
Most of us want a better filter. A sharper checklist. A way to spot the wrong ones faster so we can get to the right one sooner.
I understand the impulse. But a checklist works from what's conscious. Your pattern lives underneath that — in the unmet needs of your childhood, the adaptive behaviors you built to survive them, and the ways those behaviors are quietly running the show in every relationship you enter.
What changes things is becoming the kind of partner you're hoping to find.
That's exactly why I facilitate Keeping the Love You Find™.
"The bubble of romantic love will burst and you will find yourself locked in a power struggle. But now you know yourself, and you are prepared for what is coming." — Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt
What Actually Happens in the Room
This is a weekend of dialogue, written exercises, and real work — the kind that asks something of you and gives something back.
Over two days, we'll:
Release the relationship baggage you've been carrying from one connection into the next
Name your own patterns in conflict — the ways you move toward, away, or against the people you love
Trace the childhood wounds and limiting beliefs still steering your choices
Practice new, emotionally corrective ways of showing up
Reclaim the parts of yourself that got lost or hidden along the way
Leave with an actual plan for the relationship you're building toward
You'll be doing this work in a room full of people who are done repeating the same story with a different name attached.
The Hardest Part
Reading this is the easy part. Registering is the hard part.
Right now, some part of you is already building a case: too expensive, too big a chunk of a weekend, too exposed to walk into a room and name out loud that this is exactly the help you need.
Notice that voice. That's the same pattern this whole piece has been describing — protecting you by keeping you exactly where you already are, because familiar feels safer than change, even when familiar is the problem.
Register before you feel ready. Readiness comes from showing up, not the other way around.
You're Ready
Keeping the Love You Find™ Saturday, September 26 – Sunday, September 27, 2026 8:30 AM – 6:00 PM Washington, DC
Investment: $499
This workshop is for you if you're single and ready to break the pattern, or in a relationship that needs your own part in it examined. Either way, you're coming to become the kind of partner you're hoping to find.
Are you available to spend a weekend finding out what's actually been driving your love life?
TL;RL
You are the common denominator in your relationship patterns — which means you're also the one thing you can change
Keeping the Love You Find™ is a two-day, in-person workshop in Washington, DC (September 26–27, 2026) built on dialogue, exercises, and real self-examination
The goal is becoming the partner you're hoping to find
Come as you are. Leave prepared.
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